The Neuroscience of Recovery and Rest: Why You Can’t Just “Push Through” Emotional Distress.
When clients come to me in the aftermath of something devastating — a betrayal, a trauma, a sudden loss — at some point in the session they ask , “What can I do to help myself?”
They’re often overwhelmed, exhausted, and in survival mode. And while they’re seeking strategies or steps to feel better (which is understandable), I offer something that might sound simple but is profoundly rooted in neuroscience:
“You need to create the conditions — and then your body and brain will do the healing.”
Let me explain.
Trauma and Distress as a Brain Injury.
In the past decade, neuroscience has shown us that emotional trauma doesn’t just live in our thoughts or memories — it lives in our nervous system, and it physically alters the brain.
Imaging studies have shown that trauma can disrupt key areas of the brain:
The amygdala becomes overactive, constantly scanning for danger.
The prefrontal cortex, which helps with logic and regulation, goes offline.
The hippocampus, responsible for memory and time, becomes distorted.
In many ways, this is what we’d see in someone recovering from a mild traumatic brain injury — and some clinicians are now referring to emotional trauma as just that: an acquired brain injury.
This is not just metaphorical. It’s real.
And that means our approach to recovery must be real, too.
The Coma Analogy: Creating Ideal Conditions for Brain Healing.
When someone experiences a head injury, what do doctors do?
They often sedate them. Sometimes even place them into a medically induced coma.
Why? Because healing the brain requires the absence of stimulation, pressure, and stress. It needs stillness. It needs time.
This is not weakness. It’s medicine.
So when I say to clients, “You need to create the conditions,” I’m talking about this exact idea: removing unnecessary stressors, protecting the nervous system, and creating space for healing.
Treat Yourself Like You Have Pneumonia.
Here’s another analogy I often use: imagine you had pneumonia.
Would you expect yourself to go to work, clean the house, meet deadlines, and be emotionally available to everyone around you?
No. You’d rest. You’d drink fluids. You’d stay warm. You’d reduce your expectations and nurture yourself without shame.
It should be the same with emotional trauma. The brain, like the lungs, needs time, care, and rest to function again.
What “Creating the Conditions” Looks Like.
From a neuroscience perspective, recovery means activating the parasympathetic nervous system — the “rest and repair” mode.
Here are some ways to support this:
Sleep: Deep rest is essential for brain repair.
Hydration and nutrition: Fueling your body supports your nervous system.
Warmth and comfort: Weighted blankets, heat packs, soft clothing — these aren’t luxuries, they’re signals of safety.
Time in nature or low-stimulation environments: Helps regulate the vagus nerve.
Gentle movement: Walking, stretching, slow yoga — all support neuroregulation.
Connection with safe people: Co-regulation (being with someone calm and supportive) is one of the most powerful healing tools we have.
The Takeaway: Rest is Not Laziness — It’s Neuroscience.
If you’re recovering from something that shook you — emotionally, spiritually, or physically — you don’t need to push through.
You need to slow down. You need to soften. You need to create the conditions for healing, the same way a doctor would for a patient with a brain injury.
This is not indulgence. This is science.
Be gentle with yourself. Your body knows how to heal — when you give it the space to do so.
References
van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Penguin Books.
Teicher, M. H., & Samson, J. A. (2016). Annual Research Review: Enduring neurobiological effects of childhood abuse and neglect. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 57(3), 241–266.
Perry, B. D., & Szalavitz, M. (2021). What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing. Flatiron Books.
Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. Norton.
Siegel, D. J. (2012). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
McEwen, B. S., & Gianaros, P. J. (2010). Central role of the brain in stress and adaptation: Links to socioeconomic status, health, and disease. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1186(1), 190–222.
→ Details how stress impacts brain functioning and how rest supports recovery.